Every parent wants to feel loved and cared for by their already grown children. But, what happens when the children you catered for, turn their backs and ignore you? You begin to question your worth as a parent and think of the thousand ways you went wrong.
It can be really frustrating, hurting, and disappointing when adult children abandon their parents- people who loved them effortlessly, to the moon and back. What is with all the silent treatment? You ask.
There are reasons why grown children ignore their parents. This set of children may not even feel like they are doing something wrong. What these children do is blame their parents for the cold attitude they receive. Children never really own up to whatever treatment is given by them to their parents.
As a smart parent, you can take charge of the situation at hand and change the way your child feels about or treats you. This article discusses the reasons why grown children ignore their parents and the ways it can be fixed- to build back that sweet and perfect family bond.
Why do grown children ignore their parents?
There are lots of reasons why grown children can ignore their parents. These reasons could be very weird, selfish, or very valid and reasonable. Anyways, whatever the reason is can be sorted out by having simple and peaceful conversations- as a parent and child.
Here are a few possible reasons why your child/children could be ignoring you.
Children may pick up a bad treatment from back when they were little. It’s very possible for parents to annoy their children. But, a child can take it to heart, bury it deep and begin to treat their parents differently when they become adults. Past resentments from childhood can be a reason why your child is ignoring you- they are not ready to let go yet.
Let us take a walk down memory lane! Out of all your children, is there a particular one you treated specially? Normally, when adult children give their parents the silent treatment, it may be because they never felt loved at some point. Although you tried to give all your children fair treatment, some of them may not think you were fair enough. This thinking begins to build bitterness in their heart till they grow older.
A grown child may ignore their parents if, at some point in their life, they were emotionally abused. Parents try to calm down and are the best for their kids, in every aspect. But, there are days where you could treat your child badly without fully being aware maybe after a bad day from work, financial loss, poor emotional health, bad relationship, etc. So, you end up transferring all the aggression to your child resulting in unintentionally abusing them emotionally.
This form of abuse can leave a scar in the life of your child even till they grow- causing them to ignore you.
Differences in Values
You and your child may never agree on some matters. And when there is disagreement, there could be a rift in the relationship. One of the reasons why your adult child is ignoring you could be because you both share, unlike values. What you believe in and hold dear is what they despise and it could be a reason for them to ignore you when they can.
Excessive Interference in Their Lives
It’s okay to want to prove to your adult children that you love and care about them. But, could you be going overboard? Grown-up children hate it when their parents interfere in their life- married or not. Stop meddling if you are and watch them draw closer to you.
Signs your grown children are ignoring you
But really, what makes you feel like you are being ignored by your adult child? Are there signs you have noticed?
Avoiding important family occasions by giving flimsy excuses every time, can be a clear sign your child is ignoring you.
If you are the only one trying to make a conversation or trying to do the checking up by placing a call or sending a text message across, your child may be ignoring you.
Your adult child may begin to keep important events away from you such as pregnancies, new jobs, relocations, etc. If they do this, then it is obvious you are being ignored.
Do they rarely meet or visit you? Their excuse may be that they are busy but it doesn’t stop them from visiting or spending time with you, their parent.
What to do when your children ignore you
When your child begins to ignore, you may feel depressed and have a sense of guilt. But, there are things you can do to cope with your feelings and restore love.
You can start by letting go of the anger, pain, or bitterness you feel. This is important as it will help you understand and see things from your child’s point of view.
Constantly reach out to them by sending messages. This will let them know that you love, care, and will always be there for them.
Another important thing to do is seek support. Joining groups can make you feel connected and help you air out your feelings to other parents in your shoes.
Forgive your child for ignoring you and focus on making yourself a much better parent.
Listen to your child so you really find out what went wrong
Make a list of the things you can do to put both you and your child in the perfect relationship, again.
Parents want to feel loved by their adult children and it’s very normal. Are you looking for the reasons why your children may be ignoring you or the ways you could fix it? It is right here in this article.
Your adult children may ignore you because of an event that happened in their childhood or adulthood. Nevertheless, you can still sort it out by forgiving and letting go of the anger you feel, calling constantly, joining a support group, and showing them all the love in this world.