9 Signs your ex is pretending to be over you

Signs your ex is pretending
Signs your ex is pretending

Signs your ex is pretending to be over you

Signs your ex is pretending to be over you! When two people deeply in love break up, it might seem like their worlds are slowly falling apart. Out of the undeniable pain and hurt, a part of you still wonders if your ex has gotten over you. You may begin to wonder if they have forgotten about you, the beautiful experiences and blissful memories in such a short while.

You may have cut all forms of communication, deleted photos of you both, and try as much as you can to end everything. The thing is, feelings do not lie. In as much as you or your ex pretends to hate each other, actions will continue to prove otherwise.

Emotions do not change overnight. It will take days and days may turn into months before you completely forget about your significant order. You will be constantly reminded of the little things you both did together such as road trips, shopping, cooking together, and vacations. These memories will be hard to forget and control.

Despite all of these random memories, you are still bent or desperate to find out if your ex still loves you as much as they did. Or if they miss you. An ex can pretend to be over you for many reasons. These reasons include that:

  • They are waiting for you to make the first move
  • They do not want to seem desperate or needy instead they are trying to prove how strong they are.
  • They are scared of rejection or humiliation
  • Pride on the part of who initiated the breakup

Most times, the reason why your ex must have initiated the breakup and then pretend to be over you is because they want to protect you and your feelings. It may sound crazy and all but there are cases where your significant other knows that breaking up with you is for your own good. And they still go through with it even though they are still deeply tied to you.

Signs your ex is pretending to be over you
Signs your ex is pretending to be over you

I was at a restaurant one time and while placing an order, I spotted a longtime friend from the other corner of the room. I’d like to proudly say I have good eyesight and that I am very good at remembering a face.

Back to the story. I tried to grab her attention and since we both had no company and were all by ourselves, I signaled her to come over to where I was and I’m glad she did.

We began talking about the old good days, school, family, and what we were basically doing with our lives at the moment.  After it seemed like, there was no other important aspect of our lives we could talk about, I enquired about Thompson.

A little bit of introduction, please. Thompson is her boyfriend and they were so deeply in love and connected at a time. Everyone around us knew about their love for each other and wouldn’t have been surprised if they ended up together, as husband and wife.

And back to our conversation. She answered with a sad tone and a questionable facial expression. The whole vicinity became cold and I regretted asking about him. My expectations were a happy face and super active mood but I got the opposite.

She said “Thompson walked up to me and said we needed to break up”


Why, I asked …


I don’t know if I should talk about it, was exactly her response.

It was already getting awkward and I didn’t want to sound all nosy and desperate to know. I told her to not say what the problem was if she wasn’t comfortable with telling me.

The response she gave me was shocking. “he had a health issue, a serious one (I can’t disclose) and figured it was best we broke up so I can move on, start afresh and make an awesome family”. According to Thompson, he loves her but just wants to protect her heart and feelings in case his condition worsens.

While I find it absurd and annoying, your ex might have good reasons for deciding to break up with you. Sooner or later, you may get to find it was for good.

But then, you may still ask if the breakup could have been mutual and amicable? Have the feelings died completely? Have the strings been cut completely? While these questions are perfectly normal, instead of second-guessing and questioning every bit of yourself, read this article to know whether your ex is pretending to be over you.

signs your ex is pretending to be over you
signs your ex is pretending to be over you

Signs your ex is pretending to be over you.

These are the top signs your ex still cares about and the fire they had for you is still burning bright. In as much as they do not say that they still care about you, these signs can prove that they haven’t gotten over you yet.

  1. They Start to Make You Jealous

An ex begins to ignite feelings of jealousy when they are not over you yet. They want to see what your reaction is and show you that they do not care or love you anymore.

They try to make you jealous simply to show you how easy it is to forget about you. Another obvious thing your ex will do is play this jealousy game right in your face. And a major tool they use to do this is social media.

If you both are still friends on any social media platform, you will constantly see posted photos from them having a good and crazy time. And you should know that it is all aimed at you.

They may even go as far as flaunting a new partner or many partners in your face. You may see them enjoying themselves at your favorite spot, every time. It is not a coincidence, but an obvious plan to make you jealous.

If your ex does all this, then they are not over you. No matter how they pretend to be, you still occupy a big part of their heart.

And if you want to get your ex jealous too, then go for it.


  1. They Always Find Ways to Meet up with You

They’ll invent and initiate ways to meet up with you. Your ex will smartly initiate plans and excuses so they can see you.

This week, it’s a different reason and excuse, the following week, it’s another reason to still get a chance to see you.

They may even devise a means to come over to your place by saying they want to pick an item that was left there. By the time they arrive and you let your ex in, you both may start to chat and have long conversations before parting ways.

Then, the cycle continues and before you know it, you have already gotten a hint that your ex wants you back and hasn’t stopped thinking or caring about you since the day of the breakup.

signs your ex is pretending to be over you
signs your ex is pretending to be over you
  1. You Keep Bumping into Each Other

And you are beginning to think it’s just a mere coincidence. You should know already that your ex is aware of your favorite spot, restaurant, your office and where you normally hang out.

Now, I get that they are supposed to be avoiding such places but instead of giving you space and staying away from you, miles away from you, they are showing up and bumping into you.

The question is why? Your ex consciously bumps into you so they can see you whenever they want to. Maybe to have a drink with you, show their new partner off, or just see you and know how you are faring.

  1. They are Interested in What You Have Been Up to Lately

Your ex wants to know everything you have been doing recently and they’ll obviously do this by asking questions through call, text or in person.

These questions might include what you have eaten, who you have been hanging with and where you went to all through the day.

It may sound awkward and confusing to you. What really is your ex’s business with how you spend your day or live your life?

Know that being completely over somebody means their actions or activities shouldn’t be of concern to you anymore. You may still care about them which is very normal. But once you claim to move on, whatever they do with their lives shouldn’t bother or affect you because you are no longer connected to them.

So, if your ex claims to have moved on and forgotten about you, they shouldn’t be nosy or interested in knowing your every move. If at all the opposite is done, then they haven’t gotten over you. They are just pretending to.

  1. Look out for Body Language

Since you think your ex is pretending to be over you, you should be a detective about it. I’m not saying get a gun and look into what they do every time. You can be a detective by observing their body language when they come around you.

Actions speak louder than words. So, their body language and behavior around you should be a tell-tale indicator that they can’t let you go. Body language is usually a massive helper in letting you know how somebody feels for you, it’s one thing that cannot be hidden or controlled when in love.

Be alert and keep your eyes open for the following body languages:

  • Closeness; They try to sit close to you as much as they can or be physically close to you in any way
  • Touch; They try involving in physical contacts such as a brush against the shoulder or a slight touch on your arm
  • Protective gesture and they do this by holding your hands when trying to cross or a hand on your waist to direct you
  • Attention; they are keen on focusing on you and what you are involved with at the moment.
  • Eye contact: you may probably catch them staring at you or maintaining deep eye contact during conversations
  • Smile: you notice that they smile often when they look at you
  • They may keep fidgeting with anything possible or wring their hands together. This shows they are nervous.
  1. They Always Talk About the Past

If there is still some sort of communication with your ex and they randomly bring up conversations about the past, they haven’t totally gotten over you, cannot forget the beautiful memories and cannot let you go.

They may talk about past arguments or random memories of the fun moments you both had together.

They are trying to create a bond, spark or connection by doing this. If your ex has ever done this, how did it make you feel? Try answering honestly and you will find out that a myriad of emotions was triggered like guilt, regret, longing, etc.

  1. They Still Keep Custody of Your Belongings

Your ex may still keep your belongings with them or refuse to come and get their own belongings from you for various reasons. They may even come up with an excuse anytime you make a move to get your stuff back.

They use your belongings as a means to still communicate with you. Your ex is aware of the fact that if you get back what is yours, they’ll be nothing connecting you both.

Plus, keeping your items with them can serve as comfort or a way to trigger memories.

It is a clear sign your ex hasn’t gotten over you yet.

signs your ex is pretending to be over you
signs your ex is pretending to be over you
  1. They Fall out of CharacterHave you noticed that your ex has fallen out of character? They now behave and act differently. They attend parties and seem to act all irresponsible.They may even become drunk and reach out to call you first- all of this because they are sober and still hurt from the breakup.This new character is a way to get them distracted from the reality that they can no longer get you back.Your ex will pretend and put on an act that they have forgotten about you. So, if they are falling out of character and acting like they are leaving life to the fullest, then you know they are trying to cover up their feelings.
  2. They Try So Hard to Look Well Put Together

After the breakup, your ex may look really different because they are still hurting. They look lost, broken and devastated. They seem angry at some point because of the things they cannot change and the next minute, they feel okay.

Whenever you show up, your ex tries to stay comported and alert. They are trying to control their behavior around you. They feel like one mistake can send them out of your life completely and they cannot afford to mess up.

So, they try to be strong, happy and well put together. They try so hard to not fall apart.

Final thoughts

If your ex portrays these signs and says they love you, hold up and do not make any hasty decision. It’s best to be sure that they really want to build a relationship with you again, and you want the same too.