Why parents don’t just understand

parents don't just understand
parents don't just understand

Parents don’t just understand

“My mom doesn’t seem to like my kind of music” …

“My parents criticize me for being anti-social. But when I try to socialize and make friends, it becomes a problem” …

Many children utter the statement “parents don’t just understand”, once, thrice, or even a million times. Most times, it is true. Parents do not seem to understand why their children do or say certain things.

Your parents are also humans. Just like you make mistakes and misunderstand certain things, they are entitled to too. According to science, your parents are the very reason for your existence. But, who really are parents? Parents are caretakers. They provide physical, emotional, and spiritual nourishment for their children- and in a bid to do so, they may end up misunderstanding their children a whole lot.

The hilarious song “parents don’t just understand” by DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince explains this whole ideology. In the music video, The Prince’s mother takes him shopping and buys him clothes that are way against his style. Forced to wear such uncool clothes, he begins to skip school and when he decides to go, suffers inevitable embarrassment from his mates at school. In conclusion, he tells us “parents do not just understand”.

Parents claim they know what is best for their children. They feel like they have a clue about what is perfect for their children. Do you remember when your parents had to pick a dress combination for thanksgiving? How about when they had to fix your hairdo? Or perhaps the times you were forced to do or go somewhere against your will?

One of the reasons why most children do not even open up to their parents about how they truly feel or how their parent’s actions hurt them is because they may feel misunderstood in the end.

Truth is, millions of teenagers and adults are begging to be understood by their parents. Children want their parents to understand why they can’t be available all the time, why a particular field of study interests them, and even as simple as understanding why they can’t do the chores.

Nevertheless, there are some reasons why parents may misunderstand their children. This article is for children who want to know why their parents misunderstand them and also for parents who want to understand their children better.

Reasons why parents do not understand their children

  1. Your parents are not ready to listen:

Most of the time, your parents do not understand you just because they are not ready to listen to your opinions. It is either because they are busy with work, facing a financial challenge, or other things that may make them less eager to listen to you.

A parent may not understand their child until they listen and give them (their children) a chance to speak first.

  1. Parents have the “I’m always right” mentality

Yes, they are your seniors and have the authority but, they are not always completely right. When it comes to choosing a college course, a university, or a dress for school, your opinion matters and it is okay for them to understand that. They may not totally agree with most of your choices but they can show that they understand the reason behind your decisions.

So, if your parents fail to understand you at times, it is because they are consumed by the thought that they are always right.

  1. They have forgotten what it’s like to be you

When they were your age, they were probably like you. They have forgotten how it feels to be super tired after a long day at school, so you can’t do a chore at the moment. Also, they must have forgotten how it feels like to wear weird clothing that may cause embarrassment.

They may be so busy with adulthood and parenting that they forget how it feels to want to be so independent.

Since they cannot seem to remember, they quickly judge and misunderstand you. If they do not know what it feels like again to be in your shoes, they may never understand you.

How do I make my parents understand me?

Are you bothered about why your parents fail to understand you? Truth is, sometimes, it is not hard to get your parents on your side and make them understand you. You can follow the steps below to know how to make your parents understand you.

  1. Find out the reason behind your parents’ actions

You may begin to think your parents do not care about your feelings or are just being unfair. However, there may be an unselfish reason as to why your parents do not understand your actions or decisions. Most times, it is because of their beliefs, or it is just related to stress or work.

Try to find out why they are always edgy and unwilling to understand.

  1. Pay attention

Try to sincerely pay in-depth attention to your parents so you understand them. When you listen to whatever is the reason behind their perspective, you will better understand the issues surrounding their decisions. Always listen to their everyday conversations with other people so you know their weaknesses, values, etc.

  1. Write down the issues and reassess them

What are the things your parents do that make you feel like they do not understand you? Identify the issue and think about how it makes you feel- does it make you hurt, embarrassed, incapable, weak, or distrusted

  1. Think like a parent

If you were a parent, what will you do? How would you handle a particular situation with your teenage or adult child? Would you even try to understand just a little?

  1. Discuss with your parents

Have proper and respectful communication with your parents. You can do this by setting a date, time, and a mood that is right. Then, talk to them calmly about how their actions truly affect you. Do not try to act smart, argue or yell at them for not understanding. Instead, be responsible and mature


It is really hard for children to cope if their parents don’t just understand. Your parents love and care about you- and yes, they may always criticize or disagree with you. You should know that it is just a way of ensuring that you do not make mistakes.

Instead of hating or disrespecting your parents, you can start by trying to find out why they misunderstand you. And find suitable ways to fix it. This article contains easy ways to make your parents understand you.